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Introducing:  The Spitting Freddy Memorial Pond and Koi (not so) Sanctuary!



And here he is, our master of ceremonies, Spitting Freddy!



OK, so one day I'm looking at this section of yard and thinking to myself "that would be a great place for a pond!  No really -- it's all but perfect!  There's two huge boulders (lava, so I can move them by myself) and nothing else.  I figure I'll roll up the landscaping fabric with the rotting landscape bark on it and dig a hole and VOILA!  Make a pond.  


Cool!  So I roll up the bark and what do you think I discover?  Yeah, about 6 inches of river rock mulch imbedded in the dirt.  That's right, some moron covered up the rock mulch with landscape fabric and bark.  Now it's so thick that I can't even rototill without a flack jacket, so I've really no choice but to pick out the rocks by hand.


Fast Forward 2 months and I have a pile of river rocks the size of the Prius, but there's a bunch of larger rocks in there, too, which is cool, 'cause I can use them around the edge of the pond and save some money.  OK, so I'm working on this garden, minding my own business and occasionally swearing at nobody in particular as I pick the rocks out of the ground. I'm in the home stretch when I come across this weird plastic stuff, like landscape fabric, but I don't think water would go through. I keep going, and I begin to unearth a hole in the dirt, lined with rocks and this thick plastic. And what do you suppose I found resting comfortably at the bottom of this shallow grave? That's right -- the fractured remains of the water-spitting frog fountain.


What kind of a ....


Why I oughta... !!!

Sadly, "Freddy the Spitting Frog" is not repairable. There is a cluster of Lilly of the Valley roots that have made his head their permanent home, his front leg is broken clean off, and there is dirt stuffed in places frogs apparently don't appreciate much.


That's really not the whole of it. In my miniature "archeological dig" I believe I have solved the mystery. It appears that the owners before me cut down 2 large woody plants at the dirt line and didn't remove the roots, then filled the area with dirt to level it out, put landscape fabric down and then 3" of large bark. Picture me with my butt waving in the air as I pull and strain to get the *^%$#!!! things out of the ground, then my arms shoot up with a spray of dirt that gets into my eyes (and more importantly, my pop!) and I sit down hard and invent a new word (one which I'm pretty sure ladies aren't supposed to say). Thanks to the indelicate and undignified posture, I have more mosquito bites on my butt than you can imagine without busting out laughing (and do feel free to laugh!). I thought I'd get clever and sit down for some, so now I have a mosquito bite (or 12) on my knee and my joint's all swollen up and I walk like I just got off a horse.

Prior to the destruction fest, it appears that there was a miniature pond/fountain/stream (with Freddy as the focal point of the pond in the corner. The water traveled down a little "streambed" with the larger rocks I've been cussing... I mean digging out of the ground and into the pond, into which Freddy continually spit. There were a couple of bushes around it, 3 large lava boulders at the end and lily of the valley dotted around randomly. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? Yeah, I thought so, too...the rat b@$t^r*$ filled in my pond! It was there!

(sigh) ...what should I expect from a couple of frog killers...


Anyway, the pond is now built and I have pics.  I did try to put koi into it, but that's another story.